Something to Learn About.

At first I thought it was something bad, and totally an unlucky day.

What happened 5 hours ago still fresh in my mind and I'm gonna remember it, at least for now. And its repeating times and times in my limited space brain, its torturing... I think, I did something wrong today, it was actually my fault, and I'm trying to put blame on someone else. I don't know, but under the moment I just act to defend my own will and its just out of a natural feedback mechanism, to a sudden change.

To be frank I can't recalled back what had I said, I can't admit or deny anything...It's my fault or it's not? No one can tell, even hy also can't tell, even though she's just beside me this afternoon. Thanks to everyone trying so hard to comfort me, you know I really feel bad and don't have an idea on how to react, just got shocked after something like this had just happened. It just happened.

As I can't bare to accept it I phoned dad just after I arrived. I need someone to talk to and tell me everything's gonna be OK. Dad just listen and asked me not to think about that again, it's not important and it's gonna be a waste of time to think of someone like that. Maybe he's right, I can just ignore what happened and move on with my day.But I can't accept the fact that if I was the one that make mistake and now trying to put blame on other. Thats the reason why I keep on think and think.

Talked to Jia for almost an hour after dinner, while we actually short of time to study, they have to sit for another paper the next day. Its much more better now, at least I can calm down and looked back to what happened. I think I should think twice before speaking especially in public place, and to those that are not familiar to. Or else, I might just hurt someone or get myself hurt easily. It's out of one's mouth, to be or not, we wouldn't know if we hurt someone, and we can't expect whats happening next and probably causing serious consequences. There are too much outside...we cannot expect everything is in our hand.

If I was the one that did wrong, I would want to apologize. Sorry,I will beware next time and not to be rude to speak out something bad. Though I'm just kidding and never think it will be so serious.

I closed my eyes and pray, for everything I did today. This case will be my lesson today, I learnt and try to make changes, I hope myself will be all-right and keep fighting for my last paper. Just one more to go and get start with my sem break. Cheers dear, I LOVE YOU !